Typing Backwards (Sestina)

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Typing Backwards (Sestina)

Diana Senechal

Now is the time to talk. I don’t mean
dipping my bread into your clipped glyphs
and gobbling like a tramp, or stirring shock
and awe into our first long-distance tea.
I mean the simple conference. The back
and forth that all the world has come to miss.

What I have never known, how can I miss?
Without matter, how can I find a mean?
I too have walked my mind and fingers back
to our first meeting, where your hymnous glyphs
woke me from ancient sleep. Instead of tea,
I drank the beauty of the limpid shock.

Later, I only partly meant to shock
you and others; most of that swing-and-miss
came from my gait. A sitting down for tea
would have made you and me a bit less mean.
Instead I racked my mind over my glyphs,
wishing I could reshape them, roll them back

across the border. Yet the taking back
would be just a mirage. My fingers shock
the keys, and they shock back; the stoic glyphs
have long known these erasures. “You will miss
our mark,” they say. But cuts mark too (I mean
the million times I backspaced on a T).

You think I’m playing with infinity?
Last year, maybe. Not now. No going back
to that old cant. Sometimes I was a mean
mortality protester. I would shock
the rosy wellness-hawkers with my mis-
creant letters, my ever-stretching glyphs.

Now it’s all one. The river thrums my glyphs
into the easelessness. A spill of tea
lifts ink from the old diaries. I miss
missing itself, the feeling, far far back
in the blue past, that words of truth and shock
would become flesh. At least conjure your mien.

Now I see what I missed: your cryptic glyph
speaks its own mean. “To keep your dignity,
hold something back.” So I delete the shock.

 

I wrote this sestina over the past week and completed it this morning.

Leave a comment

4 Comments

  1. Claudia

     /  March 24, 2020

    Thank you for recovering things we didn’t know had slipped away, my dear friend.

    Reply
  2. Judith Croke

     /  March 27, 2020

    Congratulations on completing the purchase of your new apartment! Wish you happy times and memories in your new home! Please keep posting about life in Szolnok as our family will miss our usual Easter break in the town. We will miss the lovely spring time walks along the river .My boys will miss their bike rides and fun Time at the sad spa… who knows when will get home to Szolnok again.

    Reply
    • Thank you, Judith. I hope that you will be able to come home to Szolnok before long. I will keep posting about life here.

      Reply

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